'I'm your colleague not your mom': Childish coworker relentlessly demands favors from the entire office; gets put on probation and reassigned after taking things too far

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Dec 9, 2023 9:00 PM EST

The reason so many parents have struggled with working from home is because they can't find any peace and quiet when their tiny humans running around. Toddler screams, childish demands, and constant questions from the little ones can lead to the worst productivity you've ever seen, which is why a lot of employees actually prefer going in to the office to get their work done– but what if the office was riddled with the same moronic tomfoolery?

When your colleagues start acting like the babies you have at home, you've got something to worry about. It's one thing to be the mommy or daddy in your own home, but it's an entirely different story when your adult coworkers start expecting the parenting treatment. 

In our next story, one woman endured the childish demands of one baby-like coworker, before finally taking action against them. Scroll for all the details of a strange workplace story that starts with a coworker begging for homemade lunches and ends with a stern probation. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Uncle-Barnacle 12 days ago AITA for rejecting my colleague's request to make her lunch? Not the 4 I have a habit of making my own meals to work, simply because I love cooking and health related issues. So I just started a new job in a new company three months ago. And seeing me making my own lunch everyday has gotten me some attention from some colleagues, with that I was able to talk and mingle in a new environment. My colleagues tend to ask things like recipes, how long did I take
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 02
    Everyone was okay except for this one girl from the same department from me, which I will name her as Sally (27F), a junior designer. From the first day she saw my lunch, Sally has thrown in a lot of comments like how envious she is that I could cook my own meals etc. It was fine until after one week later, she started asking me questions like "so when will you make me lunch?" I was taken aback but I thought she was joking and waved it off with a smile and a nod.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 03
    After that, at least once a week, Sally would ask me the same question again and sometimes she'd even say things like, "you still owe me a lunch made by you" or she'll whine about me not wanting to cook for her. I've kindly turn her down everytime she brings up about this issue.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 04
    Last Monday, she offered to pay me if I make her lunch, for 3 dollars. I told her no again and she was visibly upset. She told me it's not that hard to make her lunch since I'm already cooking for myself every day, single and I am being unsociable and unfriendly by not making her food.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 05
    Since then, she has been passive aggressive towards me. As well as not willing to cooperate at work when I hand her new tasks. It has made me feel bad about it and I have no idea how to go about this, should I have just made her lunch just to keep the peace? This feels horrible and I don't know how to deal with it :(
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 06
    Winter_Raisin_591: NTA, tell her you are under no obligation to cook for her or anyone else. Full stop. I also suggest registering a complaint with HR before she turns this into something else. OP: I've told her that before, but she'll go all "pick-me-up girl-ish" saying things like "but your food looks so good" it's honestly driving me crazy, especially now that her attitude has flipped 180 degrees after I turn her down for 3 months :(((
    via u/Winter_Raisin_591
  • 07
    Update #1 - Nov 27, 2023 Not sure how do I post an update so I will just write it out on my own profile. First off, I would like to clarify some details I left out in my previous post, you can skip this if you don't really bother with the deets.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 08
    For those who asked about my job: I work in a design agency as a senior designer. Sally is my work junior. I work closely with the juniors as I oversee their work. Also, I am actually from South East Asia, I used USD in my previous post was because Sally legit told me $3 because USD is 4 times more than our currency, somehow she believes it sounds nicer(?)
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 09
    So after reading most of your comments, I have gave it a long thought about how I want to approach this issue. With that, I decided to not make lunch today and bring Sally out for lunch as to confront her about this whole lunch thingy privately. I offered to pay for her lunch on the condition I pick the venue and she was quick to agree and her attitude went back to how it was before I declined her request. Which I find it weird, but yea, I was first relieved that at the least I could talk to her
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 10
    I, I That 40 minutes of my life felt like brought up the issue of me not being comfortable with her recent attitude and her requests after we have ordered our food. The whole time I was talking to her she either zones out or just retorts with "why?" Or "why not?" Here's a little snippet of how our conversation went:
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 11
    Me: Sally, your constant pestering about how I should make you lunch is making me uncomfortable, I'd appreciate if you'd stop that. Sally: Why? Me: I mean like, I don't cook for anyone other than myself Sally: Why? Me: ... Because Sally, I'm your colleague not ur bf or mom or family
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 12
    Sally: but I don't see why you couldn't make me lunch just once, I'll pay you double this time. It felt like the conversation was going no where, the rest of lunch was filled with awkward silence. Sally would just sit there and stare at me without saying anything and I'm not sure if it's just her zoning out or she's somewhat me. She didn't even apologize, not once. The whole thing made my stomach feel weird, like something is grabbing my guts and twisting them around. lat
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 13
    The tension between us was awkward even the whole way we walk back to the office. Another senior designer, Mark, took notice and he pulled me away to talk about "work". Sally gave me one more look and walked to her seat. Mind you up til this point I have never talked to anyone in the company about Sally and things she had told me.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 14
    I was brought into a breakout room, Mark went straight to the point. "Did Sally ask you for something ridiculous or weird?" Turns out, some people in the office were unhappy with Sally and her little antics. She once pestered a colleague into buying her souvenirs as this colleague does a lot of work travelling. In meetings, she would zone
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 15
    So, out when people are talking to her and she would always shift the weight to someone else; eg "well we have there's nothing to worry about" also few times she'd take bits of food off guys' plates like fries and would giggle if anyone tries to tell her off. If the giggling doesn't work, she would retort the same why's and why not's I got during my talk with her.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 16
    Mark suggests I should make arrangements with my supervisor to talk about it. They have all done it earlier this year and that stopped her from doing what she did to them...well most of them, she still zones out in meetings or mid conversations. I thanked Mark for his suggestion and decided it was a necessary next step.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 17
    I have told my reporting manager about the gist of things, and I will be having a meeting with him tomorrow to give him more indepth details. Somehow, it's assuring to see he actually had to massage his forehead followed by a long sigh when I mentioned Sally's name. I hope things will get better after this.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 18
    Final Update - Nov 28, 2023 Hello everyone, this will be the final update. Took me a little while to write this post because I was busy at work. First of all, I'd like to thank you internet strangers for all the advice and similar experiences, it helped me a lot with navigating this situation as a whole. However, I'm still baffled by such behaviors esp in a work environment where I was taught people are professional there.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 19
    Anyways, onto the main topic. I had my meeting about the issue I had with Sally first thing in the morning. I told my manager that the main problem is work, about how uncooperative she was with me. It didn't take long for him to link this whole thing back to Sally making "unreasonable requests for colleagues again". He didn't exactly tell me what the company would do at the time but mentioned that the company would take appropriate measures in regards to this.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 20
    Soon enough, an email was sent to Sally with all the senior designers cc'ed in. In short, Sally will be put into probation as well as having a 30% pay cut and she has been assigned to a more stern and experienced senior designer (I heard she's really scary) for work evaluation. Sally only gets one more chance to keep her job, one more of those "requests" from her after this would result in termination.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 21
    Sally started kicking and crying upon reading the email as she yelled "It's not fair!" repeatedly. Everyone looked at Sally briefly and went back into their own businesses. I saw some colleagues put on their earphones and raising the volume, some put on earplugs, and the ones sitting near her would just walk away with their laptops. No one consoled her, everyone just pretended she wasn't there. It felt as if I was watching a movie at this rate.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 22
    Still a little worried that Sally would do something to me, I asked Mark if he could sit with me during lunch in case Sally tries anything. I'm not sure if Mark meant it as a joke or what but he said, "no worries she's not smart enough to to link this back to you." Lunch since that day has never been so peaceful and I'm looking forward to more peaceful lunches as long as I'm with this company.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 23
    effyoucreeps: great job seeing this through til the end. you improved your and all of your coworkers' (and superiors'!) work environment and mental health by leaps and bounds. i honestly wish the same for sally still NTA
    via u/effyoucreeps
  • 24
    OP: I do hope Sally understood what she's doing is not okay and improve herself. Though, I wouldn't see myself interacting with her anytime soon outside of work related matters.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 25
    peter0958373 days ago I will never jeopardize the beans. Sally needs to learn to make her own lunch cause the audacity to act like this is just mind-boggling. No one should have to deal with people like Sally.
    via u/Uncle-Barnacle
  • 26
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